If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
