my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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