dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
