Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
