Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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