I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I want a musical about memes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
