Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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