It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
