He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
