I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
