So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and she was petting her beer can
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
