the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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