the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
