I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
