I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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