Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
