The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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