i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
