This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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