There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
