i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
