Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
