The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize