My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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