did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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