oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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