I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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