i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize