Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
