My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
