Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
where am i from again
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
