Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
