I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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