Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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