He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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