Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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