Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize