Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
