Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
