i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
