I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
