you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
