She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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