Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
