This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm like, not good at living.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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