Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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