Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
