sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Let's paint friendship bongs
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
