I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize