your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
