Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize