Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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