Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
