Welp...herpes.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
so much tequila, so little girl.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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