she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize