Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Buhtt sex?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
