Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
