I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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