guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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