You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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