??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my liver is dry heaving
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
