Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
