All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
