this beer tastes like vomit already
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
