Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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